Seeing You
by Joy1
Summary: Logan realizes the poem is missing- He leaves her another to find. The end of the Series.
1. Seeing You

Title: In Love 

Title: Seeing You 

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG

            

She took my poem. I can't believe it. She took it. She was trying not to let me see that it affected her, but it did. I know it did. Why would she have taken it otherwise? If she wanted to, she could have taken the whole book, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted the poem, her poem. The poem I wrote her.

            She asked if I wrote about her… Duh. But she asked… She sort of thought I should be writing about her. How weird is that? I don't see it as arrogance either. It wasn't like any man should write poetry about her- but I should. 

            I'll write her more… I'll write her something I intend for her to see and keep. Do I have the guts? I think so… I mean I said she meant way more to me then my own personal cat burglar. I also admitted I worry about her… God do I worry about her. I can write her more…something sweet and simple. Well, here goes nothing…

            There, done. What should I call it? Max would be the obvious choice. Dark Angel- nah, too surreal. My Angel, she might get freaked. How about Heart's Ease? I don't know if she would get that. Would she understand how much peace she brings me by being her? She makes my heart pound and yet… I sound like a stupid teenager. Seeing you- I like that. That is how I see Max. 

            Now where to put it… Will she come back tonight? After I have gone to sleep probably. I should lock the rest of my book up. What am I thinking? If she wants to read it, there is nothing I can do to stop her. The woman is a cat burglar. No she isn't, she's… I don't know. No one will ever accuse Max of not being exciting and absolutely fascinating. 

_ _

What the hell is wrong with me? Ever since… ever since I don't know when, I have been unable to get the butterflies in my stomach to go away. I have been so not me recently. The cabin… It must be the cabin… I'm still in the chair and she still wanted to take a vacation with me. It really doesn't bother her…

I'll leave it out by the book on my night table… No, I don't think even she would be that brazen. The computer room, I'll leave it there. I should probably put it on top of my journal. That will definitely get her attention. 

Maybe I should send it to her? Maybe not? She would probably get really freaked by that. Two steps forward, one step back perpetually. Why is it that way with us? Because we're both chicken. At the cabin was my turn to be chicken, now it is hers. If we would just drop our defenses… who am I kidding? She'll still be coming over for dinner and playing chess when I'm fifty if I don't do something. 

Two steps forward… I hope she likes it. 

             __                                  Seeing You

_                                                        Inspiration of the day_

_                  Desperation of the night_

_                                                        Timeless beauty_

_                                                        Expanse of knowledge_

_                                                        Childlike innocence_

_                                                        Firebrand spirit_

_                                                        Elegance and grace_

_                                                        With a motor oil on her cheek_

_                                              And maybe_

_            My Angel_

_            My Savior_

_            My Sanity___


	2. Seeing You Too

Title: Seeing You Too

Title: Seeing You Too

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG

So I took the stupid thing. No one has ever written me a poem before. I wanted it. Some little part of immortality. No matter what happens, I will live forever because of those few words. That sounds like something Logan would say… He was so nervous to show me. I mean I was surprised when he half-heartedly admitted that he wrote about me. I think I did pretty well getting that out of him. I never imagined he would actually show me one he wrote about me. I thought he would show me a poem about his mom or a sunset. Something goofy like that- not me. 

           I wonder if there are others… I doubt he'll show me after the way I took off. I shouldn't have done that, but emotions were running too high. I was nearly in tears for god's sake. These few words got to me. I guess it's not really the words… He's the one that got to me… How does he do that? I have tried so hard to not let him get to me, but the feelings keep coming. Lydecker would be so disappointed. I know Zack is, then again Zack has his own issues.

            Maybe if I go over there I can sneak a look at some of his other poems. He would kill me, though. Maybe not. If it is out in an obvious place, I'll take it as a sign he trusts me with it. I'm just not allowed to freak about anything in it… What if he writes about other women? I mean if there is stuff about fair haired and skinned beauties, those aren't about me. I don't think I want to read that. I could probably figure out which ones are written about me… Maybe not. I could just take a peak. 

            This is stupid. I'm standing in Logan's living room debating about finding his journal when I know he would be mad at me if he found me. Oh God, when is he going to realize I took the other poem? I'm not going to think about that now… I'll just look around a little. If I don't see the book, I'll go home. 

           What if he brought it into his bedroom? I can't go in there- that is his room. I still hate the thought of him going through my stuff when we first met. Hey, that's right! He went through everything I owned. He probably even went through my underwear drawer! Ok, I'll just peak into his bedroom and see if it's on his nightstand. 

            

            I shouldn't have done that… He looks amazing while he sleeps. Without his glasses on he looks… I don't know… different, more approachable, sweet. His hair is going everywhere right now. He's blowing puffs of air through his mouth. He reminds me of a little boy. What would Logan have been like as a kid? Probably just shorter. Maybe not. Well, with a father that was one of those manly men, as he put it, maybe Logan was a prep school brat. Maybe he was a poet or a con artist. Maybe he was the little boy that would drop coins to look up ladies skirts… Maybe not. 

           I don't see the book, but I'm not looking any further than this doorframe. I will not invade his inner sanctum… His inner sanctum… I haven't looked in the computer room yet. Goodnight Logan. Sleep well. I have poems to read.

           There it is… There is something on top. What is this? Seeing you… I wonder if this is new. Well, let's see… Wow… This is about me. What other female in Logan's life would have motor oil on her cheek? I guess I'm back at wow. _Desperation of his night_, huh? I like that. _My Angel, My Savior, My Sanity._ So I was his angel in the last poem… Ok, I can do without the butterflies in my stomach, thank you. I do mean more to him than his own personal cat burglar… way more. I guess he wanted to prove it to me. 

            He wanted me to find this. He knew I'd be back. I guess he knows I took the other poem. The stupid thing is neither of us will ever mention it. We could carry on a love affair of words for years, never admitting out loud each was writing the other. Why are we like this? Because we're both chicken. I edged closer to him about the vacation, and he stepped back. He edged closer to me by showing me the poem but I stepped back. My turn. How do I step forward? Maybe by opening his bedroom door again?

            Where's a pen? I need a pen. I can write too. Not like he can, but I can try…

            God he is gorgeous while he sleeps. Night Logan, happy reading when you wake…

            

                                                          _Seeing You Too_

_ _

_                                                         Pride and heart_

_                                                        Strength and gentility_

_                                                        Life and Love_

_                                                        Laughter and kindness_

_                                 Patience in all things_

_                                                        Protection and worry_

_                                                        Purpose and mission_

_         With a glass of wine and a fine meal _

_                                                        And maybe_

_                                                        My Knight_

_                                                        My Side-Kick_

_                                                      My Anchor_


	3. Dark Angel

Title: Dark Angel

Title: Dark Angel

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG

I dreamt about her last night. I felt her watching me. I could sense her next to me. She whispered something, but I didn't understand. She smelled so good. I don't want o open my eyes. I don't want to face the world yet. I don't want to face how things are going to be now with me feelings out there on paper. It wasn't too intense… I'll just open my eyes slightly and warm up to the idea of the day. 

What is that? Why do I have a piece of paper lying beside my head? 

Oh my god! This is Max's writing! Where are my glasses? I need my glasses! She wrote me a poem! She wrote me back… How in the world did I get to be this lucky? OK I can breathe…what'd she write? 

_Life and Love_, whoa! I hope… she may just mean I'm full of life and love. Then again maybe she means… nah, she couldn't… maybe, her life and her love. Oh god, if only. _Purpose and Mission, _well, I have that coming… _a glass of wine and a fine meal,_ there she goes thinking with her stomach again. 

I can't believe she wrote me this… I can't believe she did this for me. She has no idea what this means to me. OK, since I have known her she has cooked me dinner, brought me a grapefruit and a chicken, and now this. This is the only non-food related object. This is the only thing that won't fade…the only proof I have of her involvement in my life if she were to leave tomorrow… that and the ton of blood circulating in my system. I forgot that… Why do I do that? The most basic and sacrificial thing she gave me and I always forget. I guess that's because it is so basic and sacrificial. It shows my need for her… I'll just lie here a few more minutes and think about her.

Bling just arrived. He is going to massively chew me out for not being out of bed yet. Oh… Wait, he can help me do something for Max. "Bling!" I yell.

"Why are you still in bed?" he asks.

I hand him the poem that Max wrote. I watch his expression grow in confusion and pleasure over the words. "Max?" he asks. I nod. "That is not an excuse to stay in bed."

"It is when we've been going back and forth about my poetry for the last several days. I showed her one I wrote about her last night. She liked it enough to swipe it… so I wrote her another one. I left it out for her to find. It was just like this one… I'm savoring the fact that she echoed my sentiments and tried her hand at poetry for me. I know Manticore did not have a poetry class."

Bling is making a face at me. "What?" I ask.

"Sounds like the ball is in your court… I promise your next move should not be conducted from your bed or anywhere near your bedroom, so get your ass up!"

I chuckle at him, knowing he's right. I maneuver myself to my chair as Bling busies himself making breakfast. What am I going to do now? She liked the poem… Hey I can… Yeah, I can. In a few minutes I'm ready to face the world and am ready to get my next move together. 

I search my hall closet for my ink well and calligraphy pens mom got me in high school. I next find a pad of drawing paper. This is perfect. Now to find a suitable frame. I don't ever look at this picture of Uncle Jonas and Margo, so this will do for my mission.

"Logan, what are you doing? You need to eat, man," Bling calls from the kitchen.

"I'll be there in a minute," I retort, having all the parts of my present set up on my desk. I roll into the kitchen laughing to myself about the conversation I had with Peter, my dearly departed bodyguard, about Max.

"What are you giggling about?" Bling asks with a disapproving look.

"First, I was not giggling… and second, I was remembering Peter's reaction to my looking for Max after she broke in here."

"Oh yeah… What'd he think of our favorite superhero?"

"He asked if I was identifying the perp or my new girlfriend. I responded I'd be more likely to drop it if I had been man handled by a size three."

"The man knew his stuff," Bling says to get a rise out of me.

"Hey, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend."

"No… You were looking for a superhero to manipulate into working for you and, wow look, you did it!" Bling says dripping with sarcasm. I had no idea that he thought that is what I did to Max.

"Whoa… You believe that?"

"Hey, you and Max have a complicated relationship, but I honestly believe if you hadn't been shot, you'd never have seen that lovely lady again… You do have to admit Logan, you do have a tendency to manipulate her for your own purposes. I mean now, you're finally getting down to your real feelings for each other, but initially you were a prick!" Bling says bluntly. OK. I'm totally at a loose. Dammit. I hate to think my best friend feels that way about the way deal with the woman I love… whoa… Where'd that come from?

"Bling, how often do I do that to Max?" I ask honestly.

"Not so often anymore, but you do have a way of implying that because your desires are to save the world, you're always right. You hide behind the mission to get your way. It's kind of childish."

"Will you hit me the next time you catch me doing that?"

"With pleasure!" Bling says offering me my food.

"Will you also run something down to Jam Pony for Max for me?" I ask.

"Sure… What are you up to?" 

"I'll show you when it's done."

I'm ready to start putting it together. Where is my book? There it is. Now, to find the poem I wrote the night we met… There it is. OK. Now, let's see if I can remember how to make words look pretty on paper… 

No ink smudges or anything. It only took me three tries, but oh well. It's done drying so I'll just mount it in the frame. All right. "Bling!" I call.

"What's up?"

"You wanted to see what I was making Max," I say as I hand over the framed poem. 

_Dark Angel_

_ _

_Silently approaching_

_Creeping about my apartment_

_The black cat that just crossed my path_

_ _

_A Thief_

_My belongings in a bag at her side_

_My bodyguard in a heap on the floor_

_ _

_She could be Bast_

_The goddess of all goddesses _

_Eye of Ra, Protector, Defender, _

_Who lives forever_

_Forever is my wish,_

_To stare at this goddess before me_

_ _

_Gorgeous_

_Eyes, dark and foreboding_

_Lips I long for_

_A body to die at the touch of_

_Curls descend the face of perfection_

_A dark angel_

_ _

_Crash_

_My angel has wings_

_Landing below unharmed_

_ _

_Sleep will not come_

_I must find you_

_Just to gaze at you again_

_ _

_My Dark Angel_

_ _

Bling's eyes hoops over the words and finishes. "Well, at one point you had it right. At one point you did know how you felt about her… If you ever dare to tell me that you aren't like that with Max or 'It's not a date,' I will beat your skinny ass."

I have to smile. Bling is probably more attuned to how I feel about Max then I am. "I'll wrap it up and you'll take it down to Jam Pony?" 

"Sure- Mind if I hide out there until I see her reaction?" Bling asks.

"Only if you tell me her reaction."

"Not a chance rich boy… I get so little joy from this psycho third grade relationship you have. I will not contribute to the problem."

Oh I'm third grade, am I? "What do you call spying on Max's reaction?" I ask.

"Voyeurism!" he responds. Damn. I can't argue with that. 

OK. The poem is wrapped and labeled. Now, if everything goes well maybe I'll know where this is going by dinnertime.

"Bling. It's ready!"

"OK lover boy… I'll take this over then see you tomorrow. Good luck."

"Thanks!" I say. OK. Now all I can do is wait. 

_ _


	4. Freaking Out

Title: Dark Angel

Title: Dark Angel

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

OK. I have successfully not thought about what sort of response I'm hoping for from Logan for the last ten minutes. I guess that's a good thing. Normal looks like he's going to chew my ass for something.

"Max" he screams.

"What?! I have all my signatures, you can check!"

"Package."

"Fine…" Wait. "Normal, this has my name on it."

"Yeah. Got dropped off five minutes ago," he responds.

"By Logan… guy in the wheelchair?"

"No… Tall, bald, black guy," he says. "Now, I need your signature and thank you for using Jam Pony," he says with a slight smirk.

What the hell is this? And why did Bling bring it down? Only one way to find out. I walk over to my locker and sit down on the bench before opening it, so I can put whatever it is away quickly… There's a note on the front.

_Max,_

_I wrote this the night you came crashing into my world._

_Logan_

_ _

__Oh my god. _Lips I long for_… _die at the touch of… My dark angel_… I can't handle this right now. Original Cindy is heading this way. Crap. I shove the framed poem into my locker and lock it up. "See ya Cindy," I say to avoid whatever conversation was about to be had. 

"Lunch?" she calls.

"Page me!" I yell as I pick up a few packages and head out. I may need to talk later. Right now, I just need to bike.I need to have several happy non-thoughts, otherwise I'm going to go crazy. 

What the hell was he thinking? Why would he send that to me now? OK, my stomach is freaking out. I told you before- enough with the butterflies and summersaults. I'm not a normal girl. I don't need my body acting girlie on me! Get your head in the game, solider… What the hell am I thinking? That won't help. That will only remind me why Logan has gotten this far into my heart… Did I just think that?

Oh, god… My pager just went off. Please, don't let it be Logan. I'm not ready to face him yet… It's Cindy… Aiight. Maybe I need a girl talk after all. She may swing the other way, but she does seem to have a handle on the guy thing. I just don't want to hear the 'I told you so' talk right now. Suck it up. I need to vent a little at least. She was always great about Darren…

"Hey, it's me hitting you back," I say into the receiver.

"Meet me at the coffee shop on third?" Cindy says.

"K, just going to turn in my sign sheet first…" I say really wanting to get the poem to show her.

"Don't worry sug'r. I already let myself into your locker to see what upset ya. We be talkin' at lunch, K?" 

"K. See ya soon," I say. Normally, I'd be mad…not this go round. 

Cindy is already sipping on some coffee when I arrive. I must look bummed. "Aiight… tell me what's up."

"Ya know what's up… Ya read it…" I respond.

"Nah. There was a tall black man that we both know, sneaking a peek at your reaction, that says it goes further then that… so spill," Cindy sips her coffee.

"Bling was watching… Man, he's gonna tell Logan I hated it," I say biting my lip.

"Nah… The man was heading to another patient's home. Not planning on telling roller boy anything… That, my dear, is your job… So once again, what's up?"

I stare absently at the wall, playing with the mortar. How do I explain the last couple days? Logan and I can't tell each other how we feel so we've resorted to poetry… I'm a total moron and I can't deal with reality, so we've settled for paper… I have a habit of running screaming away from anything like commitment, so I'm pretending that nothing's going on. 

"Hon' staring at that wall won't help," I hear Original Cindy say over my shoulder.

"I don't know what to say."

"Start with the poems," she prompted.

"How did ya know that there were _poems?_"

"Bling."

"Well, what'd he say?"

"Ya not gonna talk willing, huh? Aiight, brother man said ya been writin' each other poetry… Like ya actually wrote him some…"

"Yeah…" I say pathetically. Cindy is giving me her 'hurry up and talk or I'm gonna slap your ass' look. "I caught Logan writing in this journal the other day… poetry. He wouldn't let me see but it fascinated me. The next day or so he said he worried about me and stuff, so I asked if that meant I showed up in his poems occasionally. He said yeah and I let it drop. Last night he showed me one he wrote about me… and I took it."

"Ya took it… What'd he think of that?" 

"Well, I went back to check out the rest of the journal and he had left me another poem. I guess he realized right away I had snagged it. I figured that turn about was fair play so I wrote him one back. I tried not to think about the consequences until today when I saw what he made me… I freaked and delivered packages until I got here."

"Why'd ya freak?" Cindy asks. "Why's it scary?"

"I wouldn't say scary just… I don't know where this is going…"

"I do… You and roller boy are coming to the end of your dance."

"What does that mean?"

"Ya getting' down to how ya really feel about each other… Ya gonna stop with the 'We ain't like that' crap and 'Just friends' stuff will go away."

"But I don't want that… I want Logan as friend," I plead.

"Boo, ya not gonna lose the man… ya just gonna have him differently." My face must be all worried 'cause Cindy looks like she is gonna coddle me or somethin'. "Up till now ya were cool with the poems. What happened?"

"I don't know…" I don't know. What did happen? When'd I freak? This morning I guess. "The first was simple and vague. Like it was about me but it could have not been… The second one was about how he sees me. It had some romantic overtures but it was still… gentle. I guess… I guess the third one got to me 'cause…" I can't even finish the thought.

"Desire… The third one expressed desire for you… by Logan," Cindy says simply.

"Yeah… I'm not sure how I feel about that," I say pouting.

"Would ya let the man kiss ya if he tried?"

Damn… Why'd she have to ask that? I can feel my cheeks burning… My stomach is flipping out again. My heart is racing…. 

"I got my answer… Ya blushed, ya started breathing heavier, and ya couldn't look at me… I think ya like it just fine. So question is, what ya gonna do now that ya know he feels that way toward ya."

"He wrote that poem months ago…"

Cindy is looking at me like I have a third eye, "BUT he gave it to ya now… meaning feelings still hold."

K, now I can't breathe. I'm going into convulsions at the thought. My mind is wandering. If he touched me… If he kissed me… Agh… I can't do this… I begin to shake my head. "What's the point of even thinking about it when I may have to jet tomorrow?"

"Boo, ya will always come back… The vibe he be throwing ya is strong… strong enough to last over time and distance… till ya be able to be together… Besides the man would run with ya," she says with confidence.

"Nah he wouldn't… When I jetted last time, I asked him to come. He said no," I say despondently.

"The chair will make him feel that way… but boo, I'm serious bout the time and space thing… I may not always give Logan props cause he's a man but … he's into ya hardcore. He'd do anything to keep ya safe."

I pout again. What do I want? 

"Balls in your court boo. How ya gonna play it?" she asks.

"Can't we just pretend that nothin' happened?"

"Not anymore!"

Sigh… Step forward… Sigh… Breathe… I can do this.He sent me a gift; I'll send him one. "If I make him somethin' would ya deliver it for me in true Jam Pony style?" 

"Got it boo. What ya gonna do?"

"I got a bottle of wine at home that I was gonna give him… I think I'll wrap it in a poem…"

"Sounds good to Cindy!"


	5. Eyes Only

Title: Wine

Title: Wine

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

OK Logan, calm down. It may be the end of the working world's day but that does not mean that Max will come over. Take a deep breath and go by the assumption she will need a few days to process. Get to work and life will be fine… Agh… I just want to know we're OK. I'm gonna die in anticipation.

My buzzer just went off. "Yes"

"Mr. Cale, there is a messenger who refuses to leave a package down here. May she come up?"

Oh, yes… "Sure, send her up."

I open the door and wait to see the elevator doors open. To my great surprise it's Cindy strolling toward me, not Max. "Hiya Cindy, what can I do for you?"

"Original Cindy is here to deliver a package with very specific orders," she says with a hip out turned.

"OK, I'll sign for it if that's what ya mean," I say. What is Max up to?

"My instructions are to give you the package and get your signature once it has been fully inspected by the recipient," she says staring at her clipboard as if the instructions were written down. 

"And WHO gave you these instruction?"

"If you that stupid, I'll keep your gift!" Trust Original Cindy to drive home the point. She hands me a package that looks like a tall rectangular box. I open the top to retrieve an old time wine bag with a wine bottle inside. The brown cardboard like bag is ornamented with my newest poem in Max's beautiful handwriting. 

_Eyes Only_

_ _

_Eyes Only_

_What a joke?_

_Gorgeous cerulean blue pools_

_Drawing me in ever deeper_

_Hypnotizing me into his world_

_ _

_Too close_

_He gets too close_

_Ever deeper into my soul_

_If a man made creature can have one_

_How did he get that close?_

_ _

_Here I sit_

_Watching from above_

_Stalking his movements_

_Envying his clothes _

_To be that close_

_ _

_He is_

_An over grown boy scoot_

_A spoiled rich kid _

_The moral brigade commander_

_And the focus of my attention_

_ _

_Eyes Only_

_What a joke?_

_He is so much more than that title_

_In the end, he is_

_Mio cuore, mio anima custode_

_ _

_ _

I look at Cindy in confusion when I get to the end of the poem. "What does the last line say?" I ask anxiously waiting to find out what I am, in the end. 

"Mio cuore, mio anima custode- Sugar taught me to say that. Made me rehearse it a few time to. I love Italian… It means 'My heart, my soul's keeper'."

I can't breathe. I can't believe she wrote that… I guess that's why it was written in Italian so I would have to ask Cindy… so I would have the confirmation that she wrote what she meant. Oh, god… I want to weep… This can't be real… I don't think I have swallowed or blinked since she said the words…

"Damn Logan… Got a good impression of a dead man… I thought ya'd be happy bout this," she said with confusion.

Speaking is what I need to do… If I don't say something soon, she's gonna tell Max I hated it. I swallow and say, "I just can't believe it… I can't seem to catch my breath."

She smiles really big. I guess that was the right answer. "Original Cindy understands, Hun. Max did her freak out earlier today…but see roommates are good for shaking ya back to reality. Ya don't have one and Bling ain't coming back, so I'm gonna sit myself down until I'm sure you ain't gonna do somethin' stupid."

"Like what?" What would she consider stupid?

"How about calling her to come over and then pretending nothing's happened… Or maybe sending her on one of your little errands… Or purposing marriage… Who knows what you would do left to your own devices?" she says sitting on my couch.

She just mentioned marriage… I am sure I am very red by now. I just need to breathe… Breathing is good… The fact that it's in front of the best friend of woman I am interested in shouldn't be too bad. 

"Cindy?"

"Yeah?"

"What should I do now?" I say in total panic. 

She smiles big again. "Give each of ya time to get used to this… Keep sending the poetry if you want…just not as intense as the last one."

"I can do that… Cindy? Do ya think… I mean are we… Will we be…" Dammit! Why won't my tongue work? I don't even know what I was asking.

Cindy wakes me from my personal tirade. "Logan, she was worried about the friend thing- not wanting to lose that. You two maybe slow but it may work cause ya are… Yeah, she worried about the commandos and the need to leave, but I think she's confident that if she has to jet that don't mean she won't be back… Original Cindy just had to remind her the serious vibe ya be throwing at her… And boy ya should consider runnin' with her…"

Up till the last sentence I was happy. Despite the Cindy speak she pretty much nailed my fears. Max and I both don't want to lose what we have. We both are looking for a slow build up here, so we get it right. Realistically there will be Manticore complications, but separation doesn't mean forever… Me going with her- that'll be the day. Zack would sooner dismember me.

"What's up roller boy? Why the long face?"

"Are you kidding? I can't go with her… I'll get her caught or killed."

"That chair don't have to mean that!" she says sternly.

"Look maybe when I can walk again, till then I've got to let her go…"

"You are as stubborn as a mule… Look, Original Cindy is not one to get involved in these matters, but damn are you two messed… Suck it up… Enjoy now…"

"I will… Would you like to have a glass of wine with me? I have great plans for this bottle," I say to Cindy.

"I will gladly have some wine… and don't tell me about the bottle. I want out of this little game ya got goin', K?" she says strolling into the kitchen. 

The bottle will wait… I have poetry to write.

_ _

_ _

_ _


	6. Watching

Title: Home

Title: Home

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

When is Cindy gonna get back? Girl just calm down. No need to get all worried. This is Logan… No worries… Where the hell is Cindy?

"Where have you been?" I demand when Cindy walks through the door.

"Damn girl… I do ya a favor and this is the way ya treat me… Ya can deliver your own lover letters from now on," she snaps back.

"Sorry…I'm just…nervous… What happened?" Oh, let everything have gone OK.

"Look at my boo, shaking in her boots… He loved it. He was totally shocked… Brother was still trying to catch his breath when I left. He shared the wine with me. Ya got great taste in wine and men," she says with a smile. 

"He liked it … Really?"

"Boo, I thought he was gonna cry when I told him what the Italian meant… I don't think ya could have written anything better in his eyes."

Tears… I brought tears to his eyes. Wow. OK… We're good.

"Cindy, can we hit Crash? I need a distraction from the drama of my life," I say.

"Sure… I'm always up for a night out," Cindy says grabbing my coat for me. 

So I'm watching Logan from his skylight again. I'm used to talking to him every day and we didn't talk at all today. He looks completely beat… I wonder what 's working on. I hope it's an Eyes Only thing, because Logan wouldn't be Logan without his missions. 

He keeps smiling funny. Why's he doing that? What's he up to? It's almost like he is watching TV on his computer… Crap. Has he put cameras up here? I don't see any. Why the hell is he snickering like that? 

I can't take it any more… I'm going in… 

Where's he going? Just when I head down… he heads out. Now that's annoying. 

He's rolling this way… Crap.

"Going somewhere Max?" he asks with a loop-sided grin.

"Well, if you were going out it wouldn't be as fun to surprise you, now would it?" I say sliding down my rope. 

"Well, I just had to retrieve these," he says handing me coral colored roses. "I've never been a red rose guy. There just too generic and you, my dear, are not…"

He got me roses… He got me roses. The standard guy thing when dating commences. He got me roses... I can stop saying that in my head now.

"Max… You awake… I realize it's almost two but you seem a little out of it."

"How did you know to get the flowers just now? How did you know I was coming in?" I ask with great curiosity. That stupid grin from earlier reappears on his face. 

"I'll show you," he says taking my hand, leading me to the computer room. He just took my hand… no big deal. 

On his computer screen there is a view of the roof from the building across the street. "Since your poem mentioned watching me from the roof, I couldn't resist watching you watching me… Hope you're not mad." 

Dammit… he is too cute. I should be mad… now I'm just frustrated and flustered. Breathe, just breathe. I can't take my eyes off his eyes. At least he can't stand up and kiss me…that would just freak me out. I have to lean down for us to be close. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. 

"You're mad… I won't do it again. I kind of like the idea of you watching me…" he says in an almost whisper. 

"I'm not mad… I'm just not sure what I want to happen now… When I was up there, I figured we'd play back and forth a bit and then I'd leave… This is more…"

"Intimate," he says.

Did he have to finish my thought!?! That is just weird… Man, I want to go home… Why? So I can lie in bed and not sleep thinking about him? 

I look down, "Yeah."

"It doesn't have to be… You can tell me how much of a dork I am in one form another and we'll be right back on track," he says trying to make me feel more comfortable. 

He gets a smile for that… I think he liked my smile, because I just got one of his best. Swallow and breathe. Its just Logan… Logan… There is no 'just Logan' anymore… Wise crack… Think of a wise crack…

"Well, I wouldn't say you're a dork… a workaholic with a minor in narcissism maybe… but a dork, definitely not."

Big smile… I'm not sure I knew he had that many teeth. I just bit my lip. Small reflexes like that are going to get me into such trouble. My heart is pounding… It sounds like… Wait, no that's his heart pounding. My heart is pounding too, but I can hear his… So he isn't in as much control as I thought.

"So while you were spying on me on the roof did you get a good look at all my assets?" Gotcha! His face just dropped and is now turning a great shade of pink… Uh-oh I think he his going to get me back.

"Maybe… maybe not. I guess I'll have to roll around my apartment wearing fewer clothes at night so your voyeurism will be complete... So far have you caught me in any embarrassing states?"

"Well, that turtleneck vest combo you had going last week really needs to go…" Yes! Conversation back to normal… I feel better… He is smiling big again. 

"Want to play chess?" he asks.

I changed my mind… I want to take a chance. "How bout some music instead?" I ask. He'll like this… He will. 

"Sure, what kind?"

"Something we can dance to."

"Uh…" 

I go to the CD player and put in some classical. I walk toward Logan. His eyes are getting so big… I can do this. I want to feel his arms around me… I sit down in his lap.

"I know you're a strong guy… Ya think you can dance with me like this?" I say as his breaths become shallow. Our eyes are searching out each other's. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head against his chest. Slowly his hands come to the wheels and maneuver us in a dance. His heart is beating frantically, but is beginning to slow… This is perfect… I love this feeling… The song just ended. He's wrapping his arms around me… I just want to stay here, right here, in Logan's arms. 

Logan kisses my forehead and I look up. His eyes are so tender. His heart is pounding again. We're gonna kiss… He's going to kiss me… Our lips are barely touching. It feels like electricity is running through me. I'm getting lost in his eyes. I shut my eyes to savor this moment… This perfect moment… I'm looking at him again. He hugs me closer to himself, stroking my hair. 

We've been sitting here holding each other for a while now… I have work. I have to go. I'm out past curfew. He'll offer the guestroom… that would be way too tempting. "Logan," I whisper.

"Yeah."

"I need to go… I'll come by tomorrow… I'll even use the front door."

He tightens his grip on my mid-section. "I'm not ready to let you go… You can stay…"

I put my finger to his lips. "That would not be wise," I whisper. I hug him tight and look at him a moment before kissing him lightly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he whispers back as I slip from his grasp and head for the door.

"Sleep well…" I say.

"Not a chance," he whispers.

We both smile. This evening turned out better then I hoped.


	7. Logan TV

Title: Logan TV

Title: Logan TV

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

This is my second glass of the wine Max sent me. The rest has been transferred to a carafe in my refrigerator and the bottle is waiting to be refilled… I can be such a sap. My mother would be so proud…

It's late; I really should go to bed… Its just I expected to see Max by now...or at least have some more personal contact. I haven't done anything…balls in my court. I was hoping. 

I'll check the roof once more before going to sleep. Ok… Just access the camera across the street and there're my skylights… Looky there. My favorite black cat is prowling the roof… **_I love it._** She's watching me as I watch her watch me. I can't get this stupid smirk off my face.

She looks so confused…I never noticed how her mannerisms are very cat like when she is investigating or stalking. She just cocked her head to look at me like my best friend's cat used to. Hah… Look at her. She's getting the feeling she's being watched… Looking around won't help, Maxie. This is way too entertaining. 

Oh, she's headed down to surprise me… I better go get her flowers. I love them. Nice beautiful coral color. I've never been a fan of the red rose. That's probably because guys use them to get out of trouble too often… I used to do that… Ancient History! A unique color for a unique woman…

She hasn't landed yet… What is she doing? "Going somewhere Max?" 

"Well, if you were going out it wouldn't be as fun to surprise you, now would it?" she says sliding down the rope. 

"Well, I just had to retrieve these," I say handing her the roses. "I've never been a red rose guy. There just too generic and you, my dear, are not…"

She is either mentally freaking out that I got her flowers or… No that's it. 

"Max… You awake… I realize it's almost two but you seem a little out of it."

"How did you know to get the flowers just now? How did you know I was coming in?" she asks now sure I was watching her. That stupid grin from earlier reappears on my face. 

"I'll show you," I say taking her hand to lead to the computer room. I just took her hand… no big deal. It's so soft and delicate. I never did a hard days work in my life but I have calluses all over my palms from pushing this chair. I don't think she minds. 

On my computer screen is a view of the roof from the building across the street. "Since your poem mentioned watching me from the roof, I couldn't resist watching you watching me… Hope you're not mad." 

She's lost in her own little world again. I took the fun out of her game. I have no problem being voyeuristic with me… just as long as it doesn't extend to others. I really didn't need to have gone there. Ok say something before things get worse.

"You're mad… I won't do it again. I kind of like the idea of you watching me…" I say in a whisper. 

She reflects for a moment and then speaks. I love hearing her talk. I understand the words of Romeo for the first time in my life, '_She speaks- Oh speak again bright angel.' _I can concentrate on my comparison of her to Juliet at another time. Right now I need to be listening to what she is saying. 

"I'm not mad… I'm just not sure what I want to happen now… When I was up there, I figured we'd play back and forth a bit and then I'd leave… This is more…"

"Intimate." Crap. That was too close. That will only make things worse. 

"Yeah," she whispers downcast.

Lighten the mood now or she is going to bolt. "It doesn't have to be… You can tell me how much of a dork I am in one form another and we'll be right back on track." 

She smiled at me for that… Oh, yes, thank god. I smile back, one of my best. Swallow and breathe. Its just Max… MAX… There has never been 'just Max'…

"Well, I wouldn't say you're a dork… a workaholic with a minor in narcissism maybe… but a dork, definitely not," she wise cracks.

Big smile… Give her a big smile. She just bit her lip. I love it when she does that. She does it when she's nervous. Small reflexes like that are going to get me into such trouble. My heart is pounding… 

"So while you were spying on me on the roof did you get a good look at all my assets?" My face just dropped and is now turning a great shade of pink… Oh, she will pay for that.

"Maybe… maybe not. I guess I'll have to roll around my apartment wearing fewer clothes at night so your voyeurism will be complete… So far have you caught me in any embarrassing states?"

"Well, that turtleneck vest combo you had going last week really needs to go…" Yes! Conversation back to normal… I feel better… She is smiling big again. 

"Want to play chess?" I ask. I don't want her to leave yet.

"How bout some music instead?" What is she up to?

"Sure, what kind?"

"Something we can dance to." What did she just say?

"Uh…" 

She is headed to the CD player and just put in some classical. She is walking toward me. I can feel my eyes are going big… I can do this. I want to feel her arms around me… She just sat down in my lap. Breathe…

"I know you're a strong guy… Ya think you can dance with me like this?" Max says as I breathe shallowly. Our eyes are searching out each other's. She wraps her arms around my neck and leans her head against my chest. I can do this. I've even pictured doing this. I just put my hands to the wheels and maneuver us in a dance. My heart is beating frantically, but is beginning to slow… This is perfect… I love this feeling… The song just ended. I can wrap my arms around her now… I just want to stay here, right here, holding her in my arms. 

This is perfect. On instinct I kiss her forehead and she looks up at me so innocently. I love this woman, I do. My heart is pounding again. We're gonna kiss… I'm going to kiss her… Our lips are barely touching. They brush against each other.It feels like electricity is running through me, even in my toes… I'm getting lost in her eyes. I shut my eyes to savor this moment, this perfect moment… I'm looking at her again. I hug her closer to me, stroking her hair. 

We've been sitting here holding each other for a while now… I just want to keep her here with me forever. She would never have to deal with Normal again. Not having hot water or being out past curfew. I'll offer the guestroom… maybe she'll stay. That would be so tempting…"Logan," she whispers. _She speaks…Speak again bright angel. _

"Yeah."

"I need to go… I'll come by tomorrow… I'll even use the front door."

I tighten my grip around her mid-section. "I'm not ready to let you go… You can stay…"

She puts a finger to my lips. "That would not be wise," she whispers. Wow… She's worried that we'd… I didn't even think she would feel remotely like that… She hugs me tight and looks at me a moment before kissing me lightly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I whispers back as she slips from my grasp and heads for the door.

"Sleep well…" she says.

"Not a chance," I whisper back.

We both smile. This evening turned out better then I hoped.


	8. Sleepless

Title: Sleepless

Title: Sleepless

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

_ _

I can't sleep. No big surprise. I just had my first sort official couple time with Max. We chair danced, we kissed and cuddled. All of my senses are on overload. I can't believe she said staying here tonight would wouldn't be wise…it would be too tempting not just for me but for her too… Wow… Me, tempting to Max. The world is upside down or maybe… maybe we're really becoming something. 

Every time I close my eyes all I can see is Max- holding me, kissing me, touching me… Now I'm hitting fantasy mode… A man could die of pleasure thinking of that woman…I however want to live to experience that pleasure so I really need to do something…

Writing is good… Let my brain dump all that it's containing about tonight and maybe I'll get some shuteye. 

**_ _**

**_A Kiss_**

**_Your lips on mine_**

**_Caressing_**

**_Cascading_**

**_Aching_**

**_ _**

**_Anticipation _**

**_Shallow_**

**_Breath on breath_**

**_Pulses racing_**

**_ _**

**_Eyes_**

**_Wide open_**

**_Watching_**

**_Lost _**

**_ _**

**_Wanting more_**

**_Lightly touching_**

**_Baited breath_**

**_Hoping_**

**_The next will be as perfect_**__

I'll give it to Max tomorrow… Now to try to sleep again…


	9. Work

Title: Work

Title: Work

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

"I heard you slip out last night," Original Cindy says to me as I make myself some breakfast. She hasn't noticed the flowers Logan gave me yet. They're sitting in the glass vase that accompanied them over near the window. 

"I was just restless," I say.

"Don't give me that. You went to see him…didn't ya?"

"What if I did? No big!"

Cindy raises an eyebrow… Crap! She just noticed the flowers…

"Roses… The man got you roses… He was expecting you… Ya give him what I know he wants?" she asks in the oh so delicate way only she can…

"No…"

"Anything happen? Ya less nervous now?"

"Yeah… It's all-good… We'll figure it out. It'll take some time but…"

"But what? Ya ain't gonna bail on the guy, right?"

"No!" I say. Jeez… "I'm just not used to the warm fuzzy feeling… It's weird, but I'll deal… I just have to get used to the idea that its OK that my body temperature changes in his presence, I have to swallow a lot more often, and staring at each other is par for course…" I say breathing deep.

"Aiight… Let's hit it. Normal gonna be Bipping at us all day," Cindy says as she throws on her coat. 

When I arrive at work, Herbal and Sketchy are trying to contain themselves. They seem to be suffering from a fit of laughter. "What's up?" I ask.

"Check out your locker Max…" Sketchy says laughing hard. 

Cindy, Herbal, Sketchy and I gather around what used to be my locker. The area surrounding is filled with flowers and balloons. Dear God, what has he done? My locker is filled with my favorite motor oil and a note… 

_Max,_

_I had to do the boyfriend thing… I also had to prove I understood how to be your boyfriend… I really hate that word. Oh well, come by tonight and we'll find a better term. _

_Logan_

My friends are going through all the flowers and balloon bundles finding notes and cards Logan attached. Cindy found something she wants explained…I can tell.

"The Kiss- Brother man wrote you a poem about a kiss. Start talkin' girlie 'cause you gonna get smacked for not telling me this morning when I asked."

I'm toast.

"Yes…We are all happy that Max is in love. I myself am happy that he continues to pay me to use our services to drop the packages off… However this is a place of business so… Bip Bip Bip…" Normal says making his way over to us.

"Sista Girl is goin' to talk to us before we leave Normal… You will not deprive us of this moment!" Cindy says getting in Normal's face.

"Five minutes!" he says back.

I'm surrounded. Dammit Logan. Did you have to be this public with your affection? All right just talk quick, pick up a package and jet! "Aiight… He caught me spying on him on his roof… We 'danced' to a song in his chair… And before you go someplace sexual Sketchy, I sat on his lap and we rolled to the music… We had one brief kiss… no tongues involved even… Yes, I'm happy about it… No, I don't want advice… That is all you get. Now I'm going to deliver packages."

Before they can complain, I get on my bike and grab a package. I just need to peddle and get out of here. Crap! I just left them with all the notes Logan attached to my presents… I will not have them keeping those. He writes too well for me to give up a word! 

"You didn't deliver that quickly!" Normal yells.

"Bite me!" I yell back. I pull up in front of my friends… "Aiight. Hand them over… All of them." I give each of them the evil eye. Herbal, Cindy and Sketchy hand me the little notes and tags that were on my gifts. I stand in front of Sketchy cause I know he is holding out on me. He finally produces two other notes… "Thank you. Sketchy and Herbal why don't you take a few of my flowers home to your women at the end of the day. Cindy and I won't be able to live in our apartment with all of them."

"Thanks Max…" I hear the guys call after me as I head out again.

I've been riding a while and got that last package delivered rather quickly… I'll go sneak up on Logan. 

"Knock, Knock," I say into his apartment.

Logan rolls up to me with his grin that makes him look like a little boy… "Hey, there beauty. What do I owe this honor of a daytime visit?"

"I thought I should tell you that I have a stalker… Sent me all these flowers, balloons and motor oil… Sounds like a job for Eyes Only."

His cheeks turn pink and he grins sheepishly, "I couldn't sleep last night… I had to do something…" he says tugging on my fingers.

I decide it would be easier to discuss this in his lap. I set the break on the wheels and set myself in his lap. "Something," I say, "is one bottle of motor oil in my locker, not ten. Something is one bunch of flowers, not enough to fill my apartment… I'm sending some home with Herbal and Sketchy…share the wealth."

"But I got those for you…" Logan begins to pout. I suckle his lower lip. 

"I'm going to have plenty… I promise! Besides, if I bring them all home you won't be able to get in the door," I say playing with his fingers in my lap. 

"Thinking of having me over?" he asks with up lifted eyebrow. 

"Maybe?"

"I thought you liked it over here?"

"I do, but we're always here… This is also Eyes Only domain… It might be nice to have my place become more 'us' space." I can't believe I just said that… Why is this easy? That shouldn't be… I should be freaking out. I guess that's what I'm doing now. 

"US space, huh?" he notices I'm squirming at my own words. "But I don't have a roommate…"

"Yes, but you do have a Bling… Did you tell him?" 

"I don't kiss and tell!" he says with mock annoyance.

"OH… Right… You just attach a poem to a balloon punch about our kiss where my friends could find it… Do you realize my boss actually uttered the words 'We're all happy Max is in love' to my peps and the rest of Jam Pony because of all your gifts…"

Logan's face just went pale… Why did Logan's face just go pale? He is having trouble swallowing and looks like he is breaking out in a cold sweat. 

"What's wrong?"

"Uh… I… He… He said what?" Logan mutters.

What did I say he said that would freak out Logan? Ok… I'm confused… In Love… I used the words 'in love'… OK now I'm the one breaking out in a cold sweat and can't seem to find my tongue…

"Uh…" Just gain confidence, breathe. "He said 'We're all happy Max is in love.' He also said he was happy you paid him to leave me things… Normal is just being Normal." That was good. Covered very well. 

"Are you?" he asks.

Why did he have to go and do that? I don't know…

"I shouldn't have asked… I'm sorry…too soon… Normal's statement just threw me for a loop, that's all," he says.

Apparently we both are letting things slip out of our mouths without thinking… I'm still playing with his fingers… "So, ya want to come over tonight… No Eyes Only or Bling… I'll cook, of course and we'll watch a movie. Something I'm allowed to snuggle up to you while watching," he asks. 

I meet his eyes. "I'd like that… So is this our first official date?"

"Yeah… I think we have beaten the pseudo date to death…" he says with a glimmer in his eye. "Where's my calendar? I need to write this down… Well, I guess we really became a thing last night… What the hell am I doing? You aren't going to be girlie about this… You won't even pick a birthday for God sake," he says wracking his fingers through his hair. 

I laugh at him. "You were going to write down what day we 'got together' so you would know when our 'anniversary' is?"

"Yeah…" he says like a little schoolboy.

"That is sweet… But you're right…it won't matter to me," I say running my finger over his cheek. "Hey… Can I steal something before I head back to work?"

"What?"

"Close your eyes." He is so beautiful. I lean in a kiss his lips very gently. His eyes flutter open to look at me for a second and then close again. Maybe tonight I'll have the guts to… He just traced his tongue along my lips… He read my mind… He's as good a kisser as I thought he'd be… I don't want to stop, but he has to come up for air.

"Wow…" he pants.

"Keep that in mind when picking a movie… Later," I say strutting out the door. 

He looks shell-shocked. Life is good…very good.


	10. The Date

Title: The Date

Title: The Date

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

Let's see… Dinner is ready and waiting… I can't believe I was thinking about serving spaghetti and garlic sticks. I've been out of the dating scene too long when I forget about garlic breath and kissing… I really don't mind not having dated, because I get to be with MAX… Shake it off and make dessert…

Now for movies… old classics, action, sappy, comedy… I'll let her chose. I'll push Casablanca… intrigue, romance, and great lines. I can only hope I get to hold her during what ever we watch… Life doesn't get much better then having Max in my arms. 

I need to relax… I'm acting like a junior high boy… My palms are sweaty and I can't swallow… Hello, I have had Max in my home a thousand times over the last several months. This is no biggy… Who the hell do I think I'm kidding? This is the first time she is coming over with the expressed purpose of a date… I'm going to die of a heart attack before she arrives… Breathe… Take a shower… Get dressed… You know, get ready for a real date. 

Bling is headed this way… I've been avoiding the conversation all day, but he is cornering me… "Logan, relax. She's coming over for dinner… It may be a date, but you don't need to act like this will make or break your relationship…"

Wait a minute! That was way too encouraging… Isn't he supposed to be here to freak me out? "What is up with you? I thought you'd be all over my ass about tonight."

"Logan- I got all over your ass about pretending nothing was going on. You've admitted it to yourself and her… You'll hear my 'I told you so's later…after you stop looking like you're going to swallow your tongue," he says with a smile and leave me to dress.

Fine… I'm fine. Breathe deep… I'll wear my blue button down shirt. Max casually mentioned she liked it once. That was filed in the part of my brain that did admit I had a thing for Max a long time ago… Jeans, comfortable and casual… I wonder what she's gonna wear? I really don't need to think about that…I'll better keep my shirt un-tucked just in case it is something, well, I can't contain my myself to see her in… Get my mind out of the gutter and back on getting ready.

"See ya Logan," Bling calls from the living room. "Have a good night."

"Bye Bling." Ok…It's raining, but I don't care. Everything is set… Now, I just need my Max. 

"Hey handsome," I hear from behind me. I wheel around and there she is…My Max. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me…She looks amazing in her tight jeans and oh god, white halter-top… She is enjoying my reaction way too much.

"Dear god woman. Are you trying for the 'looks could kill' approach to dinner tonight?"

She begins to pout, "I thought you'd like it."

"'Like it' does not cover my reaction and you know it!" I respond taking her hand.

She leans down at an angle that I can see straight down her shirt…I'm struggling to keep my eyes level with hers. "What reaction are you having?" she asks.

I swallow hard, "Max, you're evil… very, very evil… I pride myself on being a gentleman, but you aren't helping."

She straightened up finally with an evil grin. "I just wanted to give you a kiss," she says with a pout. 

"No… You wanted to torture me… There are other…positions…you could have chosen to attain a kiss. You chose the one that would almost guarantee eye strain."

"I'm sorry," she apologizes, abruptly settling herself into my lap. Well, she now knows my reaction to her outfit, doesn't she?! As she leans into my arms I realize her back is almost entirely bare. The only thing holding her top onto her body is one tie at the top behind her neck and one at the bottom just above her waist… Breathing is becoming increasingly difficult… "So, you like my outfit?" she asks innocently.

Breathe… "Yes… I like your outfit… You already know that… Now, get yourself up and help me move dinner into the dining room."

"Nah… Lets eat in the living room by the TV… We never do that."

"Fair enough." We collect the food and drinks bringing them to the big sofa. "I have an assortment of movies we can watch depending on your mood… I was hoping we could watch Casablanca."

Max sits down on the couch and looks the cover over. "Sure."

I slide on to the couch next to her as she turns the movie on. I have an excellent view of her bare back and tight fitting jeans… I'm going to die… Just a few seconds of seeing that sight is too much. I unbutton the top button of my shirt because I swear its starting to strangle me and it is so bloody hot in here I need a fan.

I have Max's attention. She is watching me unbutton my shirt… she's biting her lip. She came dressed too kill… I can play with her mind a bit… I'll just unbutton another button. She is mesmerized by the actions of my fingers… So, I'm not the only one excited by the recent turn of events.

We eat listening to the old movie in the background. We steal occasional glances at each other. Max finishes relatively quickly as I continue to eat. I pretend to be completely taken with the movie when I'm really just watching Max. She is so cute… I know she wants me to finish so she can settle into my arms, but I don't have any intention of rushing…choking is not attractive on a first date.

As I finish, I put a pillow in my lap and one by my head. One is protection against my uncontrollable appendage and the other for Max's head. "Come here," I whisper as she slides over resting in my arms… Life is good… I am a luck man…I wrap my arms around her waist as she leans up and kisses my cheek.

She is lazily stroking her fingers up and down my arms, causing no rational thought to enter my brain. I can't even watch the movie…I can only feel the exquisite, light touch of this amazing woman in my arms… Her skin is so soft… Listening to the quiet breaths she is breathing… Her hair, gosh…

I move my hand to the back of her neck to move her hair. I drop gently kisses on her neck. She arches closer to me… I guess she likes having her neck kissed… I kiss up toward her ear, letting my hot breath caress it. She wraps one arm over her head to play with my hair and guide my kisses. I kiss her earlobe just a little and she moans… I made Max moan… I can die a happy man… Hormones are taking over now…all I want is to cause her to make that most wonderful sound over and over again. 

She just flipped herself around to face me. God is she gorgeous. I'm having trouble swallowing… I haven't even done anything and I'm panting like a dog… The look of desire in her eyes…for me…for me! I'm nobody…she's amazing. How did I get this lucky? She's leaning in to kiss me… Wow…Max is an amazing kisser. Why wouldn't she be? I let my tongue dual hers. I run my hand up her back… Oh, it is a very good thing that pillow is in my lap… Her skin feels like silk, it's so soft and smooth. When we break from our kiss, I lean in and kiss her neck some more… She's kissing my neck… I desperately want to untie her top…Stop that! Just stop that. Too soon, way too soon…

"Max," I say tentatively.

"What's wrong?" she whispers to me with swollen lips from kissing. Her hair is tousled and her eyes are wide with concern.

I kiss her lightly, "Nothing's wrong… I'm just getting… well… Maybe it would be better if we slowed down a bit… My body was heading a place I don't think the rest of me is ready for."

She is smirking at me again, "Did you honestly think I was going to let you kick it on our first date?!"

She is laughing at me… "I guess not," I say smiling that we're on the same page.

"I did wear this to get your attention though… I won't pretend, I didn't."

"And I still say you're an evil woman for tempting me like this… Next time please wear something I won't have the automatic instinct to rip off you…" Did I just say that out loud?

"Logan Cale… Are you telling me that you want to rip this shirt off me?" she said with the most seductive tone I have ever heard her utter… I'm coming undone at the seams… I certainly hope there is a cold compress in my freezer, because I'm going to need to cool my guys off after tonight… 

"Max…You're killing me…"

She is so close to me. She is once again bringing her chest into view. "Why would you want to take my shirt off?"

I'm done… I grab her by the back of the neck and pull her flush up against me. I force my way into her mouth with my tongue, swirling it around hers. I hear her moan slightly against my mouth. I wrap my other arm around her back holding her to me. My hot palm runs up and down her back. I rack my fingernails over the bare flesh making her squirm and squeal from my attention, all the while kissing her full force. When I let us up for air, her eyes are almost black…completely surprised at my actions.

"Turn about is fair play, Maxie!" I say glibly, licking my lip to savor her flavor. 

"Remind me to taunt you more often," she says as she pants. 

"Role over and let's watch the rest of the movie," I say kissing her cheek lightly.

"OK…" She says as she settles back into my arms, "No kissing my neck. That's how we got off track to begin with." I laugh a little at her statement.

The movie just finished and I am blessed with Sleeping Beauty in my arms. I love that fairy tale…at least the Disney version. The Grimm version is just that grim. Maybe I'll try to snag that for us to watch at another time… She looks so peaceful. I want to keep her here with me… I can't, but I can dream. 

I can't believe Normal said something about Max being in love… I wonder…Is she in love with me? That would be pretty fast… I'm hopeless when it comes to her… I don't think I fell for her fast…maybe it's the same for her. Stop with the thoughts… Just enjoy these moments you have… 

I lean down and kiss her lips. Her eyes slowly open, smiling like her face. "I was having the best dream," she whispers softly.

"What was it?" I whisper back.

"I had a perfect evening with a great guy and I woke up safe in his arms."

I have to tease her, "And all you end up with is in my arms." 

She this my chest lightly, "You're a big goof."

"But you lov… like me anyway." Crap! How do I manage to stick my foot in my mouth so often? 

Her eyes sharpen in on my face as she giggles slightly, "Yeah I love you anyway." She didn't just say that… She didn't… That was a figment of my imagination… She is teasing me again… I am sweating like a dog… Breathe Logan, just breathe. 

"You do?" I squawk… I need confirmation…

"I guess Normal was right…" How can she be so calm? How is she doing that? "Logan, are you OK? You look like you swallowed your tongue."

"I'm sorry… I just… I can't believe it… I mean I figured I would have the guts first and now I'm just babbling…"

She puts her hands aside my face, "It wasn't that hard when you lead into it so easily." Her eyes are bright with hope and love.

I hug her to me tight. I kiss her forehead… "I love you, Max. I'm sure you've figured that out by now, but I need to say the words."

"The words are always nice to hear," she said before kissing me again. 

We've been talking for a couple hours now and I'm beat, but I just can't bring myself to send her home. 

"Logan…" she says. "I need to go home and you need sleep… I don't want any balloons, flowers, or motor oil for a while, K?"

"OK… I'll be good."

"Give me a kiss and then off I go," she says.

"You can always…"

"No I can't… And you can't ask me to every night, that's not fair."

"I'm sorry…" We kiss for a little while. "Good night," I say as we part.

"Good night my love."

I smile big… "See I told ya we'd find another term then boyfriend."

She laughs as she leaves me alone on the couch. I'm sleeping here…where I can still feel the warmth of my love. 


	11. Care

Title: Care

Title: Care

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

"I can't believe ya made me wait till lunch to tell me about last night," Original Cindy says as we munch on lunch. 

"It was too late when I got home and I didn't feel like having the Bip monster all over my ass today."

"Well…Spill!" she demands as Sketchy and Herbal pull up chairs.

"I'm not good at the girl talk thing especially around guys…"

"Max, we only want ya best," Herbal chimes in. 

"Fine- we had dinner and watched a movie."

"Whatever…Home girl's smile has been way to wide for that to have been it," Cindy interjects. 

"Did ya get it on?" Sketchy asks in between bites.

"NO!" I don't want to talk about this… This is private. ME and LOGAN only. 

"He told ya he loves ya…" Herbal said disturbing my inner monologue. I must have smiled unconsciously because Cindy looks ready to burst.

"That's it… Ya'll stopped dancin'… Ya got down to the real thing… Finally! Now when ya gonna take the next step?" Original Cindy demands.

"Hello… My life! I'll take things as slow or as fast as I want. Right now I'm just getting comfortable with the whole thing… Can we venture on to a new subject? I'm getting bored."

Today has slightly sucked. The tremors hit about a half an hour ago but the meds aren't helping… So instead of going home, I'm in the elevator of Logan's building…Why? How the hell should I know?! It's instinct. He's my first impulse now. I'm in danger, hurt, or sick, I fly to Logan. My hands as shaking pretty bad. I'm just watching myself tremble as the elevator doors open. Almost there, Logan will take care of me. 

I just knocked. I brace myself against the doorframe. "Hey there, sexy," I say as he answers the door. His face contorts with concern. Without a word he pulls me into his lap and rolls us into the kitchen. I snuggle into his arms, putting my head on his shoulder. He pours me a large glass of milk. 

"Can you hold it?" he asks softly.

My hands are shaking so bad that milk spills from the side. He takes the glass back and holds it while I drink. He sets it on the counter and wheels us toward his bedroom. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"My room. We're going to get you set up in there," he says.

"Why?" My brain is getting foggy. 

"Because I can bring you everything thing you need and there is room for me to lay down beside you to stroke your hair."  
"You're too good to me Logan."

We reach the bed and he sets the break. He lifts me out of the chair and lays me down. If I felt better, I would act surprised, but right now a duck could be president and I would think everything was cool. "I'll be back in a minute," Logan whispers. In a few short minutes, he has returned with milk and my pills. I take a hand full and drink a ton of milk. My tremors are beginning to lessen. 

Logan moves to my feet to remove my shoes and socks. It's been a while since I've felt this weak. He rolls to his dresser. He reappears with a t-shirt and boxers. "These will be more comfortable," he says sweetly. I keep waiting for Logan to roll away. "No way Max. You'll end up as a puddle on the floor." I was too tired to argue. He'll be well behaved I know. He helps me remove my coat.I remove my tank top over my head and put on the t-shirt. Logan kept his eyes on my face the whole time. I reached behind me and unclipped my bra. He didn't expect me to do that. His eyes are a bit larger as I snake my bra through the sleeve of the shirt. Now will be the hard part… the pants. At least the t-shirt covers to almost my knees. Logan has to balance me by holding my waist. I slide my pants off and I quickly put the boxers on. 

I get back in bed. Logan is lying beside me now. I don't know when he got there but I like it. I nuzzle his neck as he strokes my hair. I'm almost asleep. I could get used to this.

It's raining again and I'm shaking again. "Max, Max, Honey you need to wake up," I hear Logan say to me. I open my eyes slightly. "Good girl. I need you to take some more pills OK." He holds some of my meds to my lips. There is a new glass of milk beside me that I swallow them down with. "I got you," he whispers kissing my temple. "I got ya."

Periodically I hear Logan whispering to me. I'm sure if he stopped talking to me he would go nuts. I don't think he could work while I seizing anymore. He would feel he was abandoning me. I open my eyes to see his amazing face…so full of worry. 

He brushes a stray curl behind my ear. "Hey there beautiful… Not the grandest way to spend an evening, but holding you in my arms will never be a complaint… How ya feeling?" he asks.

How am I? That's a good question… "Tired… I'm very tired."

"Are you hungry? I can make sandwiches so I won't be gone long," he says with a bit of a quiver. He loves me… It's obvious. Why didn't I see it before? I guess Cindy is right about being chicken. 

"I'd like that."

It's late. We ate a little dinner and we talked for a while. I started shaking again but we got it under wraps with meds pretty quickly. I'm now watching Logan sleep. My head is on his shoulder. I snuggle closer to him. I like this. I like being here with him. 

I lean over him and kiss his lips. I can't help it. He is so wonderful to me. He's groggy but begins to reciprocate. His arms are wrapped around me pulling me closer. He hasn't opened his eyes. He begins kissing me quite passionately. "Oh, Max," he moans. Wow… I want to hear him call my name like that forever. I'm not even sure he's awake. I don't really care…He's really turned on, part of him is awake now…

His hands just slid inside my shirt. "Oh…" I moan as he caresses my breast. His eyes just snapped open. He looks petrified. He hand scurries from beneath my shirt and his eyes blink wildly.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry," he mutters much ashamed of himself. 

"Logan, I kissed you… There's no need to be sorry."

"I shouldn't have touched… maybe I should move…" he says as he moves to get out of the bed. I clutch his wrist. 

"Please, don't go. I'm sorry… You have been so sweet to me today… I just could tell how much you love me. Watching you sleep, being that close, just made me want to be closer. I can just be held, if that's all your comfortable with," I say. Do I want more?

"You were wanting more? I guess I'm just confused because you were so sick… I can't imagine wanting to…" he mumbles tracing my face with his finger. He is not helping. I want him to touch me…badly. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard. For a second he does nothing but soon begins to kiss back. 

I'm watching Logan sleep again…this time due to exertion. That was amazing, slow and sweet. The way we touched each other. His hands on my body… He loves me. I was crying from joy by the end. I love him. I am watching this man sleep. I've never been in love before…It feels different then I expected. Sex feels different… Logan corrected me already about that… Sex is something physical. We made love…something very emotional. I like that. I never made love before… 


	12. Night

Title: Night

Title: Night

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: R

Something heavy is on my arm… Max. Her head is cutting off the circulation in my arm. If I move just a little… Hey, that worked. She laid her head on my chest… Oh my god… Last night really happened. She is definitely naked and pressed up against me… I can breathe. Really! I can! Relax…

We made love… We did. She initiated… Now I'm up…in a variety of ways… I can't believe it. This amazing woman that I love so much, gave herself to me so completely, so innocently. Nothing was hurried or strained… Even in my fantasies there is always tension or awkwardness. That was…perfect… The way she looked at me the whole time, her eyes piercing my soul. We just watched each other, whispering vows of love… She's still here in my arms. She didn't run away. I thought she'd run away… not that I wanted her to. I just thought she would, but here she is…my love in my arms. 

I hug her softly. A smile appears on her lips. I kiss the tip of her nose and her eyes flutter open…not wide, but open. I caress her cheek gently. "Hey there, gorgeous," I whisper. 

"Hey…did I wake up?" she says with a yawn.

"I just woke you up, goofy," I say, still touching her cheek.

"Yeah, but it's not like you wake up in the night for no reason."

"Well, your head was cutting off the circulation in my arm, but I'll live. I mean I woke up with you next to me… That is an amazing feeling," I explain sweetly, running my fingers through her hair. 

"Amazing, huh?" she says snuggling closer to me. I can't help but moan slightly. Her naked flesh is pressed up against mine. Her smile grows a bit, "Those things have a mind of their own, don't they?"

"Yeah well…" I mutter, embarrassed at my current predicament. "He can't help being excited when you're this close," I try to cover.

"So the question becomes," she says pausing, as she throws on of her legs over mine to entangle us together, "is even closer desired?"

All I can think at this moment is how many positions I can put her very flexible body into. "The desire is definitely there, Max. I will only say, it is 4:30 in the morning and I doubt I'll be that…" I can't even finish the thought because Max is on top of me, kissing me. 

"You said that last time… Except it was 2:00 am then. And for the record you were _that_ and more."

I'm going to die loving this woman…I know it. 

I wake up with a start. There is no warmth beside me. There is no Max… No… No… No… She wouldn't do that to me…not after last night. I close my eyes in pain until I hear something outside my bedroom…

"Logan!" It's Max. "Help! I'm being attack by my attempt at breakfast!"

Oh, thank you God! I grab for my boxers, only to find them gone. Max has tidied up the bedroom… All our clothes are gone from the floor. That however means sitting in my chair naked… I must explain being naked in a chair to my love, especially the cold factor … Cold! There go my buddies. I will get them back soon I hope. With Max around, sooner then I can imagine… Clean boxers on and a white t-shirt and I'm set to save my damsel from her distress. 

I arrive in the kitchen to see Max covered partially with flour, some sort of batter, and what appears to potentially be yogurt. She is pouting so cute. "I can't cook! I can't! I've tried…Cooking and I are not friends!"

I pull her into my lap soothing her hurt feelings and firebrand spirit. "Don't get mad…but what were you trying to make?"

Her pout increases. "I started making pancakes and it was going well until the batter spit-up all over me at which time I learned I mix-up the baking soda and the baking powder… I stopped that pursuit and tried to make a plate of fruit and yogurt for you… ya know the way you do with the little cup in the center and fruit all arranged…I miss judge the consistency of the yogurt and it sort of got away from me… I screamed for you after the pancake debacle. I thought the yogurt would work out," she says leaning her forehead to mine, which I promptly kiss. 

"New rules- I leave the bug killing to you…You leave the cooking to me. Deal?"

She likes that idea. She hurries off to change while I call her in sick and make breakfast. She wanted pancakes, so she will get pancakes.

"Who were you on the phone with?" she calls from the bedroom.

"Normal… You need to take it easy today… You had a rough night."

"No, I had a rough day… Nothing about last night was at all rough," she says sweetly, as she touches my shoulder. 

"Fine… but indulge me. I want to know you're OK and not shaking tremendously," I say, putting my arm around her waist. 

"Logan, you realize I shake bad almost every morning- bout 6:30 every day." 

No, I didn't know that. Why hasn't this been mentioned before? **Before** was before an us… "No, I didn't know… thanks for telling me." Come on. Do the supportive boyfriend thing…. I look into her eyes and say, "I know it's tough for you to admit stuff like that." Her eyes soften… She knows its tough for me to say things like that. 

"Good job with the supportive thing there… You get brownie points."

"Brownie Points? How do brownie points work?" What the hell is this about?

"It is a carefully derived system that women use. I, myself, have only become privy to its secrets in the last few years."

"Well, what do brownie points get me? What can I trade them in for?" I ask with a decidedly wicked grin. 

"Down boy… They can't be traded for anything. They simply cover over the mistakes you've already made. Example: You canceling a date at the last minute to work on Eyes Only- brownie points get you less of the wrath of Max then should be warranted on such an occasion. Basically, brownie points save you from yourself," she says with a hand on her hip. 

"But what if I never do anything wrong that would require the use of my brownie points?" I ask innocently.

She is laughing in my face. "You don't honestly believe that, do you? If so we are going to have problems."

"Why do you think I'm going to screw up?" I say, now a little hurt.

"Because we are both pigheaded and stubborn. We screwed up as friends all the time, as lovers it will be no different. Besides, until we figure out how to balance the work and play thing, we're going to hurt each other a lot, I'd imagine."

"When did you become so wise?"

She smiles at me one of other great Max smiles that make me want to worship her. "The minute I realized this could work."

"I'd say that earns you some brownie points too," I say pulling her into my lap and kissing her long and hard.

Our day is spent together resting and, well, not resting… I like this a lot. I like being together all day and all night. Being in love feels so right…I'm Max's first love. Whoa. I'm not going to screw this up…I want to be her first and only!

She is snuggled into my arms on the sofa… We're having another brown out. There is a very romantic glow about us…it's the candles of course. I'm going to read to my sweetness. I doubt she was ever read to as a child. "Sweetness?"

"Hum?" she sighs.

"Let me up for a minute… I need to get something from the trunk." She scoots to the side and I slide into my chair. I reappear before her with a copy of The Velveteen Rabbit my mother had to read to me as a boy. This was mama's special book. It only appeared when I was sick or I was feeling especially bad. I remember having an awful fight with my dad when I was fifteen and my mother retrieved the book. It's funny but the moment I saw it, I knew I was really loved. 

"Max," I say as I move myself back onto the sofa, "this was my mother's. I was hoping you'd let me read it to you."

Max's eyes begin to fill with tears, then they quickly disappear. She carefully removes the book from my hands and flips through it. "It's a children's story book… The pictures are beautiful… I've never been read to before," she whispers quietly, handing me back the book. 

I put my arm around her and pull her close. I begin to read this story that I know will get to Max… but I still think it's worth reading. She is absorbed in this tale of a small toy's search to become REAL.

_"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side..._

_"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"_

_"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."_

_"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit._

_"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful."When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."_

_"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"_

_"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse, "you become.It takes a long time.That's why it doesn't usually happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."_

_ _

Max is totally lost in the story. She looks so much like a little girl right now…so innocent. I never want any harm to come to her head or heart. I kiss her head as I continue the story…

_"You must have your old Bunny!" she said. "Fancy all that fuss for a toy!"_

_"Give me my Bunny!" he said. "You mustn't say that. He isn't a toy. He's REAL!"_

_When the little Rabbit heard that he was happy, for he knew what the Skin Horse had said was true at last. The nursery magic had happened to him, and he was a toy no longer. He was Real. The Boy himself had said it._

_That night he was almost too happy to sleep, and so much love stirred in his little sawdust heart that it almost burst. _

I'm reading about how the little boy becomes very sick and the bunny guards him. Max looks so concerned. I see tears well in her eyes as I read that all the boy's toys have to be burned because of the Scarlet Fever germs. She looks so distraught for the little rabbit… I'll get to the good part.__

_He thought of those long sunlit hours in the garden -- how happy they were -- and a great sadness came over him. He seemed to see them all pass before him, each more beautiful than the other, the fairy huts in the flower-bed, the quiet evenings in the wood when he lay in the bracken and the little ants ran over his paws; the wonderful day when he first knew that he was Real. He thought of the Skin Horse, so wise and gentle, and all that he had told him. Of what use was it to be loved and lose one's beauty and become Real if it all ended like this? And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground… And presently the blossom opened, and out of it there stepped a fairy…_

_"Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you know who I am?"_

_The Rabbit looked up at her, and it seemed to him that he had seen her face before, but he couldn't think where._

_"I am the nursery magic Fairy," she said. "I take care of all the playthings that the children have loved. When they are old and worn out, and the children don't need them any more, then I come and take them away with me and turn them into_

_Real."_

_"Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little Rabbit._

_"You were Real to the Boy," the Fairy said, "because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to every one." And she held the little Rabbit close in her arms and flew with him into the wood…And she kissed the little Rabbit again and put him down on the grass._

_"Run and play, little Rabbit!" she said… He was a Real Rabbit at last, at home with the other rabbits._

_ _

Twin tears just descended my beloved's face. She is so wrapped up in the story she has forgotten to be embarrassed at her show of emotion. "Last page," I whisper…

_ _

_"Why, he looks just like my old Bunny that was lost when I had scarlet fever!" But he never knew that it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real._

__"The End," I say. Max starts crying… really crying. "Sweetness?" I pull Max into my lap after setting the book aside. She has nestled her whole body between my shoulder and my lap. I think I might have opened the floodgate. I kiss her forehead and stroke her hair… She's probably needed to cry like this for a long time. It cleanses the soul…and Lord knows she holds enough inside her. "I got ya," I whisper. "I'm right here… You're not alone, baby." I've never had the urge to call her baby before… 

I reach over and get her some tissues when I hear her sniffle. "I'm a mess over a children's story…" she says with disgust as she blows her nose and wipes her eyes. "I'm empathizing with a stuffed rabbit!"

I smile, "That's the point, love. Everyone does. Everyone feels less then REAL at times in his or her life or in certain situations… For children, it's like growing up, for me it's normally about being good enough for my family, for you it's probably feeling human or a real girl. The story is well loved because it's about the power of love on a person…"

"Remember how I told you nobody ever really gets over their first love… that's even true in the story. The rabbit goes back to check on the boy even though he couldn't stay with the boy anymore."

Max just burst into tears again… This time I have no clue why she is crying like that. She is clutching me for all I'm worth. She very well may crush my windpipe. "I don't want to be apart," I hear her mutter through tears. "I just got you."

OK…Emotional female- she's gone all girl on me here. "Sssshhhh…" I say stroking her hair. "I'm not going anywhere…and… and if you have to… I'll find away to be with you then too." I said that right? I'm telling Max, I'm part of the deal… 

Her head comes off my shoulder. She is staring me full in the face. Her face is wet with tears, her eyes are blood shot, and her chin is trembling. "Really?"

"Really. You're stuck with me," I say with confidence. Where the confidence came from I have no clue, but its there. Max is crushing me again. "Max!" I squawk.

She releases me from the mammoth hold to look at me… "I couldn't breath."

Our lips meet again, the way they have many times in the last couple days. I am in heaven. I'm Max's first love and** I will be her only!**

_ _


	13. 

Title: My Half

Title: My Half

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

The night is so quiet. All I can hear is Logan breathing. I don't even hear the cars below on the street. Life is perfect in this moment… Tomorrow I don't have to work so I get another couple days with Logan before I have to face the world. I can't believe the way the last few days have gone. Why am I surprised? The moment I admitted my feelings were more then friends, I was taking a nose-dive into love… 

I move into the living room, so I can move about since I'm wide-awake. Where is Logan's sketchpad and stuff? I dig through one of Logan's closets discovering a vast array of inks and paper. I can use this time to write him something sweet…tender. Just get the words out of my head and onto the page…

_My Half_

_ _

_I longed to find_

_The half I missed_

_Long ago I lost_

_ _

_The half I thought _

_Was gone from all_

_I knew of my past_

_ _

_I found my half_

_In the heart of a friend_

_One I trusted to comfort & console_

_ _

_Yet there it was _

_Amongst the compassion & kindness_

_Loyalty & love I longed for_

_ _

_So now I'm whole _

_In the heart of my friend_

_Who will love, honor, & cherish me _

_Until my end._

That sounds good. I'm sure he'll like it. Where is his journal? I'll write it in there as a surprise. OK last page… Wait a minute. What's this? Another poem for me… I'm not going to read it… When he feels like sharing, he'll show me.

"MAX!" I hear Logan call. 

I hurry to the bedroom. "I'm right here," I say sitting next to him.

"Where were you?" he mutters deeply tired.

"In the living room… I'm wide-awake so moved. I didn't want to disturb you."

"It's disturbing not to wake up with you next to me, but I guess I'll have to learn to manage," he says with a yawn. "Will you lay down with me until I'm asleep again?" he says much like a little kid would. 

"Of course," I whisper snuggling into his outstretched arms. 

"I love you Max… I always have…at least it feels that way. I can't imagine life without you… I don't want to. You make me complete," he whispers in my ear.

"I know the feeling," I whisper back. "Go to sleep, my love," I say kissing his cheek, knowing tomorrow he will read my words and understand more fully. 


	14. 

All for You

Title: All for You

Name: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

I reach across the bed and my Max is gone. I shouldn't expect her to be beside me… I know she hardly sleeps and yet I wish she were here with me. There is a note on my nightstand.

_Gone for a run. Be back soon._

_Love,_

_Max_

Wow… Max being thoughtful. Who'd have thought it? I guess I'll get up and face the day. She laid out a clean pair of boxers for me…I guess the 'naked in chair' conversation actually worked. She does listen after all. What am I thinking? Of course she listens. 

Alright… Where's my journal? I'm gonna copy my newest poem for Max onto that parchment paper I got. Here we go…

_ _

I'm sure Max will love that. What shall I compare her to? A summer's day… No that's cheesy… How about 'Did my heart love till now? Forswear its sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night' or 'Oh no it is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.' Why did Shakespeare know how to write of love so well? In one play, he express so much about falling in love hard and fast. If I were to lose Max, I'd be like Romeo on his knees screaming her name defying the stars & all the life around him. I think it would drive me mad. Would I kill myself? I considered it before we were together… I don't know. What I know for certain is I will never let her go. I will always come for her… I'll not be separated from my love. 

I turn the page in my journal only to find her handwriting… She's written something in my journal… I'm thinking we need to discuss privacy… Awh… Now I can't be mad. She did something I have the right to be mad over and now I'm just a pile of mush… She found her half in my heart. I'm a huge sap… It's very hard to be manly now, when all I really want to do is worship her. 

The door just opened and unfortunately it's Bling. "GO AWAY!" I fuss.

"Nice to see you too… Why do I have to leave? Is Max in the bedroom or something?" he asks with an eyebrow raised. 

"No… but she'll be coming back from her run and I don't want you here!" I snap. I really just want to bundle her back into bed for the day. 

"Have plans for this morning?" 

"Bling, if you don't get out of here in twenty seconds, you're fired!" I try to drive home the point. 

He looks at me angrily. "I will be back after lunch to do your exercises… call me if that isn't enough time… You really need to be working your leg muscles not just your lower back," he said with a straight face. 

My face is completely red, I'm sure. "How do you know that we have been doing any such thing?" I demand. What am I thinking? Of course Bling can tell. He has been over here almost every day for months… It would be hard to miss even by the sound of my voice, I imagine. 

Bling cocks his head and looks at me like I'm nuts, "First of all you're a moron and second of all you are only wearing boxers. It was hard to miss your intension, rolling towards me yelling 'Go Away.' I made the assumption that it wasn't the first time because you were planning on greeting Max with that sight and even you aren't so inept at women to think that's a good come on."

Now I'm even redder. "I'm sorry. I'll exercise this afternoon…"

He smiles, "I'll see ya later… Congratulations man! I'm glad you guys finally admitted how you feel about each other." He left the apartment just as Max was getting off the elevator. They smile at each other. Max is turning a little pink.

"Hey babe. Do your exercises while I was gone?" she says kissing me softly. She apparently doesn't notice what even Bling caught. 

"No he's coming back later this afternoon."

"Why?" she says sweetly downing a bunch of orange juice. I pull her toward me gently, seating her in my lap. "OH!!! I see!" she reacts quickly as I laugh. "But I'm all sweaty."

"So… I was hoping to get you to that state anyway," I say with my devilish grin. 

***********************************************************************

I'm holding my love in my arms kissing her gently, reverently. "Max?"

"Hum?" 

"Follow me," I whisper to her. I climb into my chair.

"How bout the 'naked in chair' thing we discussed earlier?" she asks.

"It's a few feet…" I explain. She follows into the bathroom as I run the tub. I slide in and beckon her to follow. I wash her whole body in silence, planting small kisses all over her. I treat her to a lathered a bath sponge with lavender body wash. I move her slowly so I can wash her hair. I want her to feel totally pampered and doted on. 

We lay in the steamy bath and I see all signs of stress lift from my sweetness. "That was a first," she whispered over her shoulder to me. "That felt wonderful."

"I'm glad you liked it… I love you. Have I told you that yet today?"

"A few times actually… You tend to tell me those little words while we're making love… You also tell me by what you do, like this, the story, and your poems," she responded.

"Which reminds me… I have a new one for you, but I imagine you already read it since I found your poem…I loved it. It was the inspiration for our morning frolic."

A smile spread across her face. "Thank you…but I didn't read it… I figured you would show me when you were ready," she said caressing my arms. 

"How bout we get out and I'll read it to you?" I suggest as I kiss her forehead. 

We get out of the bath and dry each other off. I forgot how much fun it is to be intimate with another person like this. All the heartache that we have gone through to get here is worth it for these moments together. We go back to the bedroom and cuddle in bed as I read Max my latest poem to her, my muse. 

_All for You_

_ _

_My heart- pounds_

_My eyes- tear_

_My senses- alive_

_My soul- soars_

_All for you…All for you_

_ _

_My laugh- engages_

_My smile- uplifts_

_My mood- improves_

_My wit- sharpens_

_All for you…All for you_

_ _

_My body- aches_

_My breath- spent_

_My skin- tingles_

_My lips- wait_

_All for you_

_ _

_All for you_

All for my love!


	15. Who Else

Who else

**A/N: This will most likely be the second to last chapter. If you want more, please review with suggestions. **

***********************************************************************

Title: Who else

Name: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

I wake up in Logan's arms and wonder if I'll ever go home. I wonder what Original Cindy thinks about the fact I haven't been home in days with no word. I bet she's called Logan to check on me and he just hasn't mentioned it. He is beautiful asleep and awake. I really like this…here…us. Touching, holding, talking…all the things that make romance what people long for. 

It's funny but as I'm lying here, I realize if I were captured tomorrow, I have a reason to get out. Before Logan and I got together, I just had a notion of freedom as the reason I would fight. Now I have love, the most individualistic and strongest emotion. I can't because a drone again…I'm too human. Logan isn't my weakness he's my strength. I would give anything for him, including myself…but I'll always come for him. Lydecker, Manticore, or Hell its self couldn't keep me from my love…not anymore. I'm too human…too strong. 

What's that expression? 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' Hell also hath no fury like a woman separated from love… I could burn down Gillette, Wyoming with no problem, if I was taken from Logan. I pledge on the heart of my sleeping love I'll always come for him…even in death. 

I understand that play Logan loves so much now. I couldn't comprehend of anyone falling in love in a day or being willing to die for the other. I can picture Romeo on his knees screaming his lungs out for the love for his wife. I can picture Logan on his knees screaming my name. I can picture myself with the vial of sleeping potion or wailing in my bed at the thought of Logan's death… 

One night…that's all they had together… yet the story is gets stronger with time. I've got time with Logan. I don't know how long, but I'll take it…I understand now… Star Crossed Lovers… No, I don't think so… I think we're meant to be.

I figure I should get out of bed before I attack Logan in his sleep. I think there are rules about surprising people with sex while their sleeping a certain number of times during a week. I think I'm past my quota. It's not like he hasn't been receptive…its just I don't want it to become an automatic reaction if I wake him up in the middle of the night. I would hate to have it be that I need help with a seizure and he thinks its foreplay… Now I'm just being dumb. 

The living room and TV awaits me. I could go for a drive but it's only an hour or so before the shakes hit so I better not. Nothing good is on… I'll write. It's served me well so far. I get what's in my head out, plus it makes Logan feel special. Who would have guessed I'd be any good at poetry? Logan says it's because I have an old soul. I asked him to define that…He couldn't… Funny…an old soul. Why would my soul be older then anyone else's? Strange expression… Oh, well… Pen and paper…

_Who Else_

_ _

_Who else_

_would I_

_bleed for_

_pray for_

_live for_

_fight for_

_die for_

_ _

_Who else_

_would I_

_talk to_

_write to_

_give to_

_run to_

_make love to_

_ _

_Who else_

_would I_

_seek_

_hold_

_comfort_

_trust_

_love_

_ _

_Who else…_

_ _


	16. Precious Promises

Title: The End

Title: Precious Promises

Name: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

**A/N: This is the end. If you want a sequel I will need suggestions and reviews indicated it is desired.**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

My bed is cold… She's not here. I want her here always… Is that selfish? Things have been moving pretty quickly but I still want more. I want morning snuggles and breakfast together. This all started with my poem. I guess I'm happy Max pushed to see them. I guess I'm glad I had the guts to show her one about her. 

I hear her in the living room. It must be really hard on her these days to come to bed and sleep. She's not used to going to bed at 'a reasonable hour' or with another person. She hasn't been driving her motorcycle at night so she could be with me. These nighttime rituals must be hard for her… Question becomes how do I want to help with that?

I get into my chair and roll into the living room to find my love doing push ups on the floor. Oh, god is she hot! All those muscles in her back and arms. I'm so jealous of the floor. "If I get down there will you do that to me?" I ask in a low whisper.

Max faces me with a smile, "Depends…"

"On what, my love?"

"What state of dress we're in…" she clarifies.

I get as close as possible before moving onto the floor. "Why would it matter? I was just hoping for a kiss each time you came down."

"Sure you did…" We lean in a kiss each other. 

"So I was thinking… would it be such a bad thing for you just to move in here with me? I mean I certainly enjoy the company," I say as Max sort of interrupts by laughing at me.

"You enjoy the company perks," she teases.

"Oh yeah… Well you seem to enjoy our breakfast meetings and business dinners along with the company perks!"

"Are you implying I only love you for your cooking?" she says with a very angry look.

"I'm implying we've both really fond of the way things have been going. I don't see why it has to end," I say cupping her face in my hand. "Move in with me… I figure I have a better change of getting you to agree to that then marriage…I'll take what I can get."

"You can't be serious… We can't get married."

"The answer I expected so therefore the live in proposition," I say while playing with her fingers. 

"Logan… I love you but… what if…" she starts to wander into the demon realm of her childhood.

"No… If they catch you I want you to have something to fight for. I need you to be with me as long as I can have you. I haven't known what it was like to really live in so long - that's until you robbed my apartment. Ya know the anniversary of when we first met is coming up?"

"Really?" Max says looking bemused.

"I have something for it but I think I'm going to give it to you now."

"Why?"

I smile at her. "Because if things go the way I want them to I want this to be the night we tell our kids about. I'll be back…" I roll over to the porch and grab the bottle I've been hiding. When I return Max is on the couch.

"Ok close your eyes."

"Last time you made me do this you stood up… By the way why didn't you kiss me then?" she says with her hands over her eyes.

"We'll talk about that later… Here," I say handing her the bottle. 

"I'm confused… This is the bottle of wine I gave you," Max commented.

"No it's just the bottle. The wine was enjoyed… The bottle I give to you."

"What are you talking about Logan?"

I smile big again, "A bottle of rain, love." I sit myself next to her and pull her to my chest. "See for every drop of rain in this bottle I pray a happy memory for you… And selfishly I pray for every drop of rain in that bottle I will get to have a day with you!"

Tears threaten to spill onto Max's lovely face. "I wrote you a poem," she croaks. She brings it over and reads it to me. Now I'm the one with tears in my eyes. I kiss her softly.

"Max…" I say staring into her eyes deeply. "You inspire me. More then just to do the right thing or to take you to my bed. You inspire me to be more then I am, to be better then I am. You challenge me to never settle or give up. You make the world worth facing every day. I love you… Thank you."

Max cries in my arms. "Alright, you win. I'll move in. Just stop being so sweet," she says from the middle of my chest.

"Not until I give you one last poem," I whisper before I begin to recite.

_Precious Promises_

_ _

_I gave you my wealth _

_amidst the broken glass in my apartment_

_I gave you my mind _

_at every chess game and 'mission'_

_I gave you my care_

_while you were sick and in need_

_I gave you my concern_

_as you left me in fear and chaos_

_I gave you my music _

_while I dreamt of you in my arms_

_I gave you my heart_

_in the words of a poem I was terrified to show_

_I gave you my soul _

_while we made love for the first time_

_Tonight_

_I give you my future_

_as I beg you to be part of it _

_Forever_

_ _


End file.
